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Is Your Why, YOURS? Follow These Tips and You'll Know

Updated: Oct 6, 2022

On Instagram, I've talked about identifying your "why". Many of us have a generic answer. Few of us have a thorough answer. Whichever, the case may be, your why is the foundation on which your goals, aspirations, and actions are built. This is WHY it is important to know, That your why, is YOUR why.

Tip #1 - Ask Yourself the Right Questions

  • Do I need this and why?

  • Do I want this? Why do I want this?

Here's some application.

I made the decision to go to college. Did I need to go to college at the time I made that decision? Why, or why not? Or Did I want to go to college when I made that decision? Let's dig in shall we?

During that time, I DID NOT need to go to college. I was working as a contractor that was being paid $23 an hour without having a degree. I became greedy. I was efficient at my craft and constantly was fed comments about going to the next level. However, I needed to be enrolled in a degree program to be considered for the promotion and training. I was also influenced by those who frowned upon me being a young mother, who didn't go to college. They assumed if I didn't attend college, I'd ruin my life.

At the end of it all, I decided going to college is what I wanted. I wanted to silence all of the doubt. I had something to prove. Or, that's what I told myself. As I look back now, I know my decision was mine, but I chose it based on my desire to please others and "look" a certain way. I ended up with more than 40k in student loan debt in 2 years, because I listened to other people. I had let them tell me my why.

Tip #2 - Know Yourself

I've heard it said, that when you know yourself, other's cannot persuade you to be someone else. It took me a long time to discern w=what I truly desired for my life, for myself and NOT, because someone else told me in some fashion "this" or "that" is what I should do.

I come from a broken home. I was insecure, so I turned outward for security. I allowed people to determine my life for me.

For example, when I walked into adulthood,, not knowing anything about money (since all I had been surrounded by was poverty), I listened when I was told to get a credit card. My first bank account was opened just so I could have a credit card. Next, I listened when I was told to buy a car off of the lot, (brand new) because I could "afford" the monthly payment.

I realized, these were decisions I allowed others to make for me when I wasn't secure in myself. When you don't know who you are, you can't know what you stand for...

"when you don't stand for something, you fall for everything"

Tip #3 - Make it Personal

I can tell you, when it comes to finances and my financial future, I TAKE IT PERSONALLY, NOW. I don't accept everyone's financial advice. I know that when push comes to shove, it will be me financially struggling. So, we should all be more concerned with where our money is going and how much the latest gadgets, cars etc. will really cost us. When we don't, we spend time stressing because we can't figure out where our money went.

When I decided to make my finances personal, that's when my financial journey began to change. I became aware of my spending habits. This awareness provided insights to things that I COULD change because it was in my control to do so.

When you make it personal and internalize that why, it's puts YOU IN CONTROL. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MAKES ALL OF THE DECSIONS THAT REFLECT THE "WHY". We lose control when others have it. When we give others that control we sway in any direction. We cannot build a solid foundation on a why that's unstable because it isn't ours to begin with. If you can't identify with the reason, or identify the reason, it isn't your why.

Ask Questions. Know. Personalize.

Asking the right questions will lead you to discovering some "whys" that you have. From there, you can make them personal.

"Internalizing your why, lays the path for a solid foundation" -TCB


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